Author Archives: Jonothon

…About Lists

Posted on August 5, 2012 by Jonothon

One of my favorite forms of self-obsessed, preachy blogging is the list. Fifteen things a stranger learned about something somewhere that will be beneficial to you because they lived through it and you’re reading it. They are my favorite kind … Continue reading →

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… About Growing Up

Posted on July 28, 2012 by Jonothon

Call me Gramps. Everyone else does. I pledged when I was twenty-two. A dead end job at The Happiest Place on Earth and a late start to college put me years behind other people my age. I knew when I … Continue reading →

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…About Being the Token

Posted on July 21, 2012 by Jonothon

I was a homosexual once. It was a glorious time defined by the excessive use of the words “tranny” and “fierce”; my inability to refer to men by any pronoun other than “she”; and a bounce in my step that … Continue reading →

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…About Stranger Danger

Posted on July 12, 2012 by Jonothon

I’m terrible at a lot of things. Sports, celebrity impersonations, sharpening pencils, sex. Out of all these things there is nothing that I’m worse at than meeting new people. It is terrifying. I would rather do my best Bill Cosby … Continue reading →

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…About My #1 Fear

Posted on July 8, 2012 by Jonothon

Everyone is afraid of something. Most common fears are spiders, snakes, heights, and crowded areas. Guests on Maury have confessed to irrational fears such as a fear of pickles, mustard, and cotton. Many people are scared of the dark, the … Continue reading →

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…About The Worst Road Trip Ever

Posted on July 5, 2012 by Jonothon

This story is true. All names have been changed to protect the innocent from association and the guilty from embarrassment. Yesterday morning I cried at a McDonald’s in Tallahassee, FL. The tears were sparse, but the emotion was there. I … Continue reading →

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…About Coming Out

Posted on July 3, 2012 by Jonothon

“The fact is, I’m gay” – Anderson Cooper I was eighteen when I came out of the closet. Anxious and afraid of the backlash I stood in front of my mother and confessed that I was a homosexual. Today, at … Continue reading →

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…About My $57,000 Mistake

Posted on July 2, 2012 by Jonothon

I never wanted to be a lawyer. It’s a sad but unfortunate truth. This is the point as the reader where you’ll stop and think to yourself, “If you didn’t want to be a lawyer then why in the hell … Continue reading →

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…About Being H.W.P.

Posted on July 1, 2012 by Jonothon

I, like most of America, am overweight. I’m not fat, but what I am is akin to a pair of popular shorts or a lonely man’s erection: Chubby. With the exception of a brief six months consisting of rigorous exercise and … Continue reading →

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…About Vaginas

Posted on June 29, 2012 by Jonothon

Vaginas are my number four fear. They rank somewhere between monkeys and the impending zombie apocalypse on the scale of “Irrational Things To Be Afraid Of”, but as far as I’m concerned they are still a viable threat. There’s something … Continue reading →

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